“Siddhartha had begun to feel the seeds of discontent within him. He had begun to feel that the love of his father and mother, and also the love of his friend Govinda, would not always make him happy, give him peace, satisfy and suffice him. He had begun to suspect that his worthy father and his other teachers, the wise Brahmins, had already passed on to him the bulk and best of their wisdom, that they had already poured the sum total of their knowledge into his waiting vessel; and the vessel was not full, his intellect was not satisfied, his soul was not at peace, his heart was not still. The ablutions were good, but they were water; they did not was sins away, they did not relieve his distressed heart…One must find the source within one’s own Self, one must possess it. Everything else was seeking—a detour, error.”
--Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
How does this quote connect to you Dostoyevsky's nameless narrator, and thus, to our own lives? Please, if you can, utilize textual support from Notes from Underground. Is total consciousness, total self-awareness, an acceptance of the fact that we feel pain and that things are not perfect? A total acceptance of our present state.
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Today in class we discussed the self-created “walls” that prevent us from crossing the barrier between thought and action. Siddhartha, I believe, was a brave man who was able to defy the similar struggles, which our narrator faced, from Notes from the Underground, and let him (Siddhartha) step out onto a path of complete self-discovery.
Okay, I think Siddhartha is super duper!! So, here’s a little background information on what I have read so far in Siddhartha. Siddhartha leaves behind the Brahman’s, his family, and a life of prosperity in a quest to somehow attain total enlightenment. This guy has it all, he is intelligent, wealthy, and attractive (the ladies love him)! Well, Siddhartha is not satisfied and begins a new life. He rids himself of all material items and lives with the bare minimum, often fasting for weeks at a time. In doing so, he cleanses himself of any impurities that could interfere with his quest for Nirvana. Siddhartha becomes a devote student of the Samanas and eventually meets the Buddha. However, Siddhartha finds flaw in what the Buddha tells him about his own discovery of Nirvana. “This is why I am continuing my wanderings-not to seek another, better doctrine, because I know there is none, but to leave behind all teachings and all teachers, and either to attain my goal alone or to die.” Siddhartha states that he must do this “soley for myself, for me alone, I must judge, I must choose, I must reject.” He now understands that he must venture out on his own and learn from his personal experiences, not from the teachings and influences of others. He recognizes that he “ was afraid of myself, I was running away from myself! [….] I was determined to dismember myself and tear away its layers of husk in order to find in its unknown innermost recess the kernel at the heart of all those layers [….] But in so doing I was losing myself.” Siddhartha is able to recognize what he must do to reach his goal, he accepts what will have to be done, and then embarks on a new journey to achieve this goal. He understands that this new path will not be painless. Siddhartha experiences loneliness and complete solitude. “And even the most forlorn hermit in the forest was not solitary and alone; he, too, was sheltered by a sense of belonging; he, too, belonged to a group that meant home to him.” Siddhartha has crossed out of the imprisonment of the walls because of his willingness and total dedication to himself and his quest for enlightenment.
The narrator, in Notes from the Underground, finds an outlet in his writing and this can be interpreted as his action. However, he is more a man of thought. The narrator says, “ I dreamed endlessly [….] there was faith, and hope, and love. The fact is that at that time I blindly believed that by some miracle, through some outside influence, all this would suddenly be drawn aside like a curtain, and a wide horizon would open out before me….” I believe that the narrator struggles to overcome his self- doubt and channel his thoughts into action, unlike Siddhartha. Siddhartha was able to come to terms with what needed to be done for his goals. The narrator seems more passive and isn’t as proactive in recognizing, accepting, and breaking down the walls of what is holding him back. More than Siddhartha, he settles and accepts his present state.
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